I think my best friend is more emotionally invested in my love life than I am.

I meanseriously, I tell her about stuff and her reaction is AAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, or So CUTE, or the weirdest one yet, Baby Manic's... like.... yeah. But me and my actual girlfriend went through a rough patch with her brother being a dick, and he's finally calmed down, so he's now gunna leave us in peace. On this occasion my best exploded with emotions, going AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW, and proceeded to have a long one sentence for each statement, like so cute. Baby Manic's. Happy Psycho. It's abit weird, I mean I don't get emotionally invested with the relation ship she has with her bf, if she was in my situation my reaction would be..... K.... as annoying as that may be I am not emotionally invested in her relationship, somehow though she seems to be wedged in the bosom of mine. This leads me to question whether I need a new best friend or if I should have here lobotomised, I'm pretty sure no one would notice *He says looking around suspiciously*

Manic Muse, Dreaming truths, and my life at that point

*pops head out of rock to check the coast is clear, and makes way to computer*

(Warning this is very stream of thought, with terrible grammar, there is more focus on content)

So now it is another soul searching post, probably revealing how shallow and attention seeking I am, and thus why I am such a terrible human being.

Manic Muse was a character I created a few months before I started writing dreaming truths (DT), a blog that just went on, and on, for almost a year. With the lead up however to the making of dreaming truths I had many ideas and the directions it would go, all those factors were accounted for, I needed my protagonist to be compelling, a bit of an arse, but all in all a good person. This left me with a problem I couldn't write a completely new person that early, so I used a framework to build Manic, a lazy waste of intellect, who's life seems meaningless, destroyed, by forces out of his control, in his case Slendy Wendy.

If you got this far and you've seen my fondness for Manic overall you can probably guess that I modeled Manic on myself, you would be right, actually alot of the personality types in Dreaming truths come from friends of mine, I just... exaggerated them. Now I didn't want to make him just me, I at that stage was quite boring, lacked drive, confidence, all these things Manic had which I didn't. This led me to try and make a resolution, I would grow with my character to the point of reason, until he truly went into fiction.

Now, to this day Dreaming truths has gained 2666 pageviews, which when I started would have seemed like a yeah, I'll never reach that, yet here it is I could probably blame the sheer number of posts and if you do the actual math it comes to roughly 20ish people having read it, thought now I concentrate more on writing than having it  read, I have a secret one which I have started that I won't release until next month or later. I actually still remember the first post I made, seeing 1 page view, 2, 5, 7, 10, then I started to reply to comments, Manic wasn't a fully settled character and I wasn't fully prepared for the attention it got, people I had been reading for the past 6-8 months reading what I wrote and commenting. I won't lie I was so nervous I started shaking and sweating like it was a sauna, I was nervous as hell, desperate to stay in character and make a good impression. After a while however activity died down, I had probably over egged whatever I was trying to achieve, and my confidence took an according blow. The blog still tumbled on regardless, got a little crossover wit ha blog ran by soulpatched, I like to think we helped each other though it's very unlikely I helped.

Now as the months tumbled by I kept going, never actually acquiring a great number of views, but I was getting more confident, I would no longer sweat and shake writing a post, no one had said it was terrible, alright it may not be literary genius but it's not complete rubbish. Unfortunately I had got bored writing just the Slender Man and I didn't know how much cohesion there was between the things called Fears I had read very little about. During part of DT you will notice that the posts are more sloppy and depressing with gaps longer than 2 or 3 days I was having writers block and going through a bout of depression, to be honest I think Manic saved me, standing out in front drawing me forwards even taunting me slightly, my creation was stronger than me, so I came back I think more solid, got out more, hang out with more people joined a rugby club and express my long standing love for Rugby, even got a girlfriend. As Manic rises generally I rise, when he falls the same, by the time I was coming to the end of DT I thought I could live without Manic, who at this point had basically become a persona for me, I would turn into Manic when I needed confidence, or do something I was scared to do. Unfortunately I made a bo bo towards the end, I was finding it hard to find an end for Manic, also my GF at the time, saw that I was become stressed with the blog and used to not sleep sometime thinking of stories, thinking how to write it. I looked for an easy fix, so I trolled for an already existing creature to help speed that along whilst resolving the son issue, unfortunately in my haste I neglected to look for any open source thing, so then came the the little trouble with the forum, the final test of my confidence I've come to see it, I was told that I had used characters I shouldn't and I said I was sorry, deleted the relevant post, and I was fine, I didn't feel any crushing sense of worthlessness, I shrugged it off and created the Ticking man to fulfill the purpose I needed, and then the blog finished, I laid Manic to permanent rest fallen to the creature he had run from all the time protecting he loves, a fitting death to a character so important to me.

That didn't last long obviously, I became a part of the fear mythos forum, about a month maybe two after the end, and I still can't let go of Manic.

-Manic Muse (Writer)

Ok, Ok I'll do it

Two in a day apparently this isn't enough about me, Manic the Person behind the horror facade, even though I write, watch, breath, bleed and dream in horror. But yes, apparently I should tell you a little bit more about myself, which I find a bit uncomfortable, well considering I'm part of the fear mythos lets use that as a starting point. As I've said before I play Rugby, a fun, brutal sport, and I earn my money doing laboring, or manual labor, for the americorns, so it's easy to see I am quite an active person, and maybe I don't properly fit into the mythos as I myself don't feel alienated from society, or enjoy the company of the internet, I don't try and seek an escape from my life, I just don't like 'people'. Wandering off though, I have a nightmare, well recently I never had a nightmare before, I wake up and try to get out of bed to find that my legs don't work, which already sends me into a panic so great my heart starts going, I call for help and no one comes, I crawl out of the room and still can't get up. I mange to slide myself downstairs but slip and hit my head, I wake up in a hospital, no one is there again, I wait for a day, bemoaning the lose of my legs, crying, I never cry and I mean never, teh dream then just consists of me trying to get out of the bed and being put back in by something until I feel something in me die, or wither, or just fade.

MY legs to me mean my freedom, I'm good at something I'm fast, I fly when I run, in my soul I am free for just a few minutes, and when I score a try in a match my soul soars to an unimaginable height. This may make me look like a person who is not very deep or sensitive, but that's just how I am, I fear being alone, I fear being a prisoner in my own body, I fear never being able to fly again.

-The person you call Manic

Oh, life blog how I neglect thee

Well, I guess when there's nothing to particularly moan, complain or angst about I like to keep my life to myself, although I keep getting told to be more open, am example of this was provided yesterday when my bestfriend of almost 4 years asked me what my favorite colour was, favorite food, what the name of my 4 sisters were. She was the one that pointed out I am a very she didn't say secretive but maybe it was guarded. I'm not introverted by any means, but guarded yes..... why do you want to know about my life.... are you spies, tell me, What!is your name? WHAT! is your number? and WHAT! is the square root of 467? Hmmmmm, I'm already running out of things to say, but I don't like sharing, sooooooo, sod off for now, but I'm sure I love you somewhere in my heart....... somewhere, deepdown, possibly with my conscience and common decency.

Bye,
Manic

Life starts getting back to normal

Lets see, So in the past two.... three weeks, I have sorted things out with my friend, who then helped me sort out things with my ex...... and I have a course that should help me get work double quick.

Manic, might be back sooner than expected

Let's just say it's been a long old month

Lets see, first thing no more girlfriend, which my best friend found absolutely hysterical, as she's the one usually single, and even know her boyfriend, who I call epsilon, as he's low on the male hierarchy, and is more feminine than my friend. I must admit however my best mate is efficiently a bloke, strange considering my other best mate, he's gay and he is effectively a woman, why am I friends with these people?

*Voice in head* 'I think the wiser question is why are they friends with you'
Shut up who asked you?
:P
X(

Yeah but me actual bestmate, the girl one, she has also turned on me always looking at me bored and with disgust, I blame Epsilon, he's trying to get her to become more like him, she actually has problems she sees a Psych for but she always goes for fucked up guys, so I have to be there at the end to pick up the pieces, yet now she's not treating me well, when in a few weeks time she'll be crying on my shoulder, as I try to convince her not to hurt herself. Like the last guy she dated he fucked about with her feeling, she basically loved him, me and her brother always thought he was a dick but said nothing, this guy proceeded to cheat on her, she didn't get angry she didn't blame him, just said they 'never made it exclusive', ME and her brother promised if we ever saw his canadian face again we'd batter him, she barely made it through,

Due to this and me becoming recently unemployed I had to stop writing for the Fear Mythos, which I technically didn't want to do, but it distracted me, and unbeknownst to me was causing quiet a bit of stress. Since I stopped writing properly I have been able to cut down on smoking, relax more, I still need to sort my life out but atleast I feel a bit more positive about it, hopefully I can go back in a months time and be in high spirits, hopefully.

Hiatus Creepypasta

                                                                  Are You Afraid Yet?

Tick, Tick, Tick; that’s how it’s been all my life, in every second, the tick, going forever. Some days I wish it would end, contemplated ending it all but what if it followed me? I say I thought about it, the ticking however didn’t leave much room for me to think about that, it drove me forwards, relentlessly…. Into eternity. I couldn’t even escape it in my dreams, in fact that was where it was always strongest, when the barriers between what was ‘real’ and what wasn’t were weakest, where reality and impossibility are the same things. Since the ticking has been with me since I was born it means I was never good at making friends, made me withdrawn, everything became an obsession a repetition, repetition was the key, and people weren’t part of that routine. Followers… disciples…. Expendables they were useful, they became part of the routine, my grand scheme, but I was alone always alone.

I guess that’s the life we lead though, no matter how hard we fight, we all end up alone in eternity. So we all live secluded in our own little corners of creation, corners we’ve made for ourselves, we become safe from the world, perfect in our isolation, if we chose to maintain it.

Now due to our kind being seldom seen we are brushed off as dreams and….. nightmares, held dearest in the darkest recesses of the human mind. We may be safe from the world …… but we will show the world is not safe from us.

Tick, Tick, Tick.